We have 5 kids. Three of them were born within 28 months of each other, they’re 15 months and 13 months apart. Let me tell you, having a 5 year old, 2 year old, 1 year old and newborn was EXTREMELY hard. I was in survival mode for two years. I honestly don’t remember much. People will look at me all weird or will say “that’s your fault for having them so close.” Or I always get the comment when I’m out and about, “Wow, you’ve got your hands full.” Their “polite” way of saying “wow, you’ve got a lot of young kids, you’re crazy.”
It took us three years to get pregnant with our first. Longer than most but not longer than others. I know the heartache of struggling to get pregnant. There’s 3 years between my oldest and my second oldest. We were hoping to space our kids two years apart. Well, it took us 15 months to get pregnant with our second. We knew we wanted more, and history showed we struggled to get pregnant so we better start trying because it would take at least a year. The month we started trying, we got pregnant! Ek! They’re 15 months apart. It really wasn’t so bad, but then the one time we didn’t protect, we got pregnant again! And now the third and fourth child are 13 months apart.
I swore up and down I was not getting pregnant again. Having 3 kids in diapers and nursing-oh, and did I mention those 3 were all c-section? Oh, and I had heart complications after my last one so I was on bed rest for 10 weeks? I forget myself, forgive me, I was about to go off on a tangent.
So yes, those kids were all close together, but history showed we’d struggle to get pregnant, we didn’t think they’d be so close. And besides, really, 4 kids is not that many kids people! Especially when my husband and I each come from families with 5 kids. (And 5 really isn’t that many either). Then again, perspective is relative.
Well, we decided to have another child, and she’s 4 years younger than child number 4. And you got that right, another girl. Our kids and both of us were disappointed, we were hoping for another boy finally. But we were excited all the same- 4 girls and 1 boy. But my husband and each of my kids kept asking if we could try again–we need to have another boy in the family. I’m old, pregnancy is hard on me and I just wanted to be done.
But we didn’t want our youngest to go through school feeling like an only child since she’d so much younger than the others. The plan was to wait until September, when the baby would be 11 months old and decide then.
My body doesn’t respond well to birth control, at all, I get sick and have adverse reactions. So we have to use older methods. *cough* *cough* which also includes tracking ovulation. Now, remember my past history. We have struggled to get pregnant. I was tracking, we were doing other methods. And we got pregnant! Funny story, we have a friend that has a special gift. I saw him earlier in the day and then he sent me a text, “So about #6…” and I freaked out. I responded, “What?!” I had NO IDEA! I ran to the store and bought a handful of tests. The first one was negative and I breifly thought, maybe he was wrong. But he’s never wrong. So the next day I took another one, those $.88 tests from walmart, and it was still negative. I tossed it in the garbage and read a post on facebook that someone said it took 10 minutes for the results to post. I went back and sure enough it was positive!
No, this baby was not planned, we were not planning to get pregnant right now. Planning is the process of making plans for something, which wasn’t the case. But guess what? I was excited. We were excited. At 8 weeks pregnant we decided to tell family and close friends.
How sad is it that our friends were more supportive of us than most of our family? Talk about disappointing. I had an extend family member so rude to us and our baby that I finally called her out on it, telling her I didn’t appreciated her judgmental, holier than thou attitude and how she was treating my husband, myself and our baby. She proceeded to lay into me, accusing us of falsehoods, from who knows where she is getting the information (cuz guess what? We don’t talk to them, so it wasn’t from us), and when I tried to tell her the truth she called me a liar. Oh I was fuming mad. This was supposed to be a happy time for us and I allowed her to rip it away.
I should have kept quiet. I shouldn’t have let my pride to stand up for myself get in the way. Who knows, maybe she’s going through a crappy time in life. Maybe she’s never had to endure a hard trial before and is now lashing out at people.
Whatever it is, I shouldn’t let it affect me. Because what matters most is my little family. My husband and kids. We are beyond excited for this little guy, yes a boy! I don’t understand people thinking that six kids is a lot. Do I get the looks? Yes, all the time. I know I’m being judged. And now I say, whatever. Judge all you want. We’re building our eternal happiness. We love our family, and after all, family is what this life and the next is all about. They are our eternal joy.